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[Music]
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[Applause]
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[Music]
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my name is po Williams
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[Music]
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Koto and Welcome to our third episode of
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task master my name is Jeremy Wells and
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if you ask about me at that little smoky
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outof the way Denny Pub they'll tell you
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what you need to know about me and that
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is that I am the
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Taskmaster five comedians have signed
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the necessary release forms to allow
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them to put their bodies their minds and
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other parts of the themselves through a
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series of character defining challenges
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that we call tasks all in the hope of
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going home with my golden skull in its
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trophy
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form that's right those dedicated few
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from whom we will draw our Delight are
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as always Chris
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Parker Josh
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Thompson Justine
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Smith Cuda Foresta
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and
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Paulo and at my side is a young whipper
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snapper hungry to make a name for
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himself don't let those puppy dog eyes
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fool you he will stop at nothing to get
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to the top it's Paul
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Williams well as always due to budget
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constraints we ask our contestants to
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bring in their own prizes to play for
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what have we got this week this week's
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prize task is their most prized
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childhood position position and the
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winner of tonight's episode will take
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home everyone's most prized childhood
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positions like a primary school bully
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who was merely acting out because of
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their own issues at
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home let's start with Chris all right as
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a child I had glue air completely lost
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the ability to speak and then there was
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just so happened to be this woman and
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she was doing a PhD and how to teach
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kids with glue air how to speak again
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she Tau me how to speak and she got to
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do her PhD I guess passed or maybe she
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didn't and then as a way to say thank
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you she gave me a little tin car and so
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here's the tin
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car I know it's sincere it looks like
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it's made in the 40s it was made in the
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'90s from my perspective What's
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Happening Here is we've gone Christ
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Church upbringing tick blond hair tick
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Hitler Youth outfit
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tick 1930s German
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card you could interpret a very
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beautiful story of about my little Helen
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Keller journey of being able to hear for
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the first time and twist it in some sort
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of Nazi
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nightmare it's a beautiful story C what
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did you bring in well I searched high
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and low and said Mom do I have any
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childhood
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possessions and I couldn't believe it
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she gave me a whole bag of all of my old
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school
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reports they're really prized positions
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because it turns out I've been a legend
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for a long
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time yeah I've got them here to read K
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needs to put more effort into her work
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her behavior is inconsistent and can be
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inappropriate at
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times finally someone said it I like the
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fact that you went to a school where the
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behavior standards are of a high
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standard appropriate inappropriate at
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times or of concern yeah it's also
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amazing she didn't tick inappropriate at
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times considering she
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literally use those exact words are you
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going to say who works from the Hitler
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Youth or just my childhood just yours oh
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man Josh what did you bring in I I grew
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up in the South Island on a farm so
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naturally I spent a lot of time running
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around paddocks dressed as a
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ninja there classic ninja get up there
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of course ninjas need weapons so I made
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a little wooden ninja star he cann't
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throw very well so then I made one out
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of
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nails um and there was awesome I'm not
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going to lie and then sort of topped the
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whole thing off with a sort of replica
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submachine gun um yeah so um just a
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chilled out in childhood there that's
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how I uh would roll around so there was
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a reasonbly large ninja Community inside
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Timaru ah it's a pretty secret society
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mate I can't really talk about it
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excellent Justine so for my um childhood
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memory I'm also from Christ Church but
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Le kind of um I'm not na okay okay just
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just calm down
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Chris calm down started please calm
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down um when I was younger my granddad
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played a banele as part of a comedy duo
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this is his joke book which is a really
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precious thing to have but
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also why do you say that well you know
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it was of a Time Jeremy uh gred was a
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comedian in the 50s and 60s and you know
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things were a little bit different
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and I also bought a photo of my
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beautiful Granddad uh playing W what did
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you bring in okay well the thing I
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treasur the most I brought with me so
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this is my
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mom there she is there hi M so she's
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still around she's 87 I wanted to bring
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her in in person but her knees are quite
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bad and she literally would not have
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been able to get up over that step I
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know the feeling and uh yeah she's my
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most treasured thing cuz she's
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awesome thank you you guys it's
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beautiful it's not here I just Googled a
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picture of an old lady but um no it is
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it it is it yeah okay so whoever wins
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the episode tonight takes home your mom
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you're willing that would be
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awesome that' be like if we could
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arrange that that would be really great
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cuz like her Retirement Village is
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really
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expensive I would say just do keep that
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away from Josh cuz he will kick it in
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half yeah can I just explain for the
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audience in a previous episode I pied a
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woman in half and you know like geez you
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do it once and like go on about it like
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let's move it
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on well it's hard not to give you five
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points for bringing your mom five points
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for you Paul thank you well done thank
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you very much I love the story about the
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banele that's four points for you C I'll
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give you three that's a middling score
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for a middling report it turns out but
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I'm only going to give you two points
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Josh and then unfortunately I have no
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more of this Nazi
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sh it's a 10 car from the '90s
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that means incredibly there are only
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four points separating first and last
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place that's first should we have our
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first task then sure thing Jeremy Wells
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if you're a fan of household chores or
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the TV show Taskmaster you'll love this
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next
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[Music]
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one is that you Paul yes
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always be ready you know what a time to
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be alive
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50:08 what oh oh that's the time to be
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alive you've set up a washing line well
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this looks a bit housework doesn't it
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this is an icon from my past my brother
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and I used to hang upside down on these
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by our legs and spin each other around
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and had our heads on the concrete under
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the line did you fall off a lot no he
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fell off a lot though he's he hasn't
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been the same since but it was funny
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yay run a full Marathon fastest
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once just
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kidding hang the washing out to dry you
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have 2 minutes to hang your washing
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following which Paul will spin the
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washing line once most remaining hang
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items wins your time starts now are
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there any pigs are there any pigs
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where's the pigs ah
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the hell's in there oh God is this the
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washing the hell is this bananas it's
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the washing it's silly is what this
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is it is a silly task what was inside of
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the washing basket there was a total of
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462 things gummy snakes bananas uh CDs
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some pens cans of beans a jacket if you
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can believe it okay let's not leave them
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to hang out to draw any longer who are
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we sing first here's everybody but
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Chris do these all counters individual
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items yes
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okay terrible who's are these tiny bras
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sexy bra well clearly not mine got to
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hang them to got to hang them to
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the 90
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seconds not a lot of time mate to do a
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successful load of washing on the
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phone oh
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no is that a banana in your pocket yes I
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thought
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so sad sad 41y old man trying to hang up
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a sour worm hands off please hands away
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it's not sour it's just gummy a I am
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under time pressure Paul I haven't got
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time to properly identify IES well the
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sour ones normally have sugar on the
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outside I know about the sour ones Paul
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there's only one sour worm here and
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that's Jay Thompson you happy with that
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I hate that question um yeah fearing for
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the spin just go soft just go soft don't
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be a d about
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it oh that's too hard isn't
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it
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a go Stan only one snake out ooh this
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man knows how to hang up bananas my
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friend bananas counted individually
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it'll be up to the Taskmaster they
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should be it's five bananas yo but
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they're all connected yeah but aren't we
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all aren't we all in this crazy
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world what the heck what was going on
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with that spin I was pretty consistent
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with the spin but the the the things
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hanging like they really
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swung a lot who's with the bras I'm not
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sure who the bras I just found a lot of
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stuff around the house yeah whose bras
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were they yeah Paul you
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[__] you can say that you're H who whose
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BRS I I I can't I don't know whose they
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were tell us I don't know we can tell
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when you're
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lying stop hiding your erection with the
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iPad from where I'm sitting he could
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have done it with an iPhone
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but so Justine uh 11 CA
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11 Josh 17 Paul 28
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wow
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nice you're amazed I am amazed because
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I'd forgotten that I'd actually stuffed
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a whole lot of extra stuff into the
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pockets of the jacket yeah the pockets
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thought I'd just put the bananas in but
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no I'm
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amazing right we've got one more contest
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distantly don't we yes Chris Parker is
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his name to hang things is his aim he
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has other like larger life goals as well
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yeah but I couldn't fit them in the poem
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it's Chris Parker I've got 2 minutes 1
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minute and 40 seconds oh my
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go 30 seconds
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you ready for the spin yeah hell yeah
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spin spin
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spin but there's one thing you can say
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about the Nazis the technology was
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good this whole episode's going to be
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cussed I'll just be blurred out
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centrifugal force obviously you
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understand that as well you've gone with
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the basket on the inside that was smart
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didn't think of that but sure yeah I
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mean I played the um Central fugo at
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high
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school is that what you call
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it so what the schools on the input well
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CA and Justine both got 11 they can get
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two points each yes two points each for
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Justine and CA three points for Josh
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four points for Paul and five points for
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Chris my way back up what lucky task of
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you got next for us Paul I personally
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think we should flag this one because it
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blows in the
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[Music]
00:13:43
wind oh I know what these are hula hoops
00:13:48
hula hoops exactly oh that's very
00:13:51
Olympics or something Commonwealth Games
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a all the information you need is in the
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task going to have to
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got some cards there
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yeah pick a card from Paul's dick and
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build a big flag of the country written
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on your card best big flag wins you have
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30 minutes your time starts now did you
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say dick
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yeah I have not been this excited about
00:14:25
Flags since the junky referendum with
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the laser key with in the eyes you
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remember that I do I do that was good
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that was a good one we're looking for
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the the best big flag here aren't we yes
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yes so big and
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good that's what best means yeah flying
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the flag for New Zealand it's Josh
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Thompson
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UAE is that the correct flag for the
00:14:52
United Arab Emirates I don't know if
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I've lost my mind it looks like there
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STS and stries what can I look other cat
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doesn't say that I can't okay I could
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overpower you okay you're gu so the art
00:15:04
trick okay of the country written on
00:15:06
your card can you can you Google a UAE
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flag Paul can you please grab all the
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red books I've read all of these you no
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okay wow thanks Paul great oh actually
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we don't need those why I just s be mean
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thing to say oh just kidding youve done
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great work Jesus cross sorry sorry it's
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l going on lot going
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on come on come on come on yes oh worth
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it the Cucumbers will help yep yep [__]
00:15:41
yeah I'm feeling these cucumbers these
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might be lianes cucumbers too oh if I
00:15:45
say that part of the UAE that's racist
00:15:47
prob I I don't even oh my geography is
00:15:49
very poor I mean that's pretty bloody
00:15:51
good mate up there it's going to look
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bloody good I wouldn't be surprised if
00:15:55
some citizens of the UA just came in
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just oh better roll that up and I'd be
00:15:58
like sorry that's a bunch of stuff it's
00:16:00
not a real flag here it is the United
00:16:04
Arab Emirates says flag UAE UAE UAE whoops
00:16:11
what the hell is that it's the godamn
00:16:13
Burge CIFA on the flag the M rocks it's
00:16:16
the Bri it's the world's tallest
00:16:17
building do you think the people of
00:16:20
United Arab irit what's that do you
00:16:23
think the people of the United Arab irit
00:16:26
say do you think the people of the
00:16:27
United Arab you're
00:16:29
Emirates are going to like your flag I
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think
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so it's a bir Khalifa oh no oh no yeah I
00:16:40
think nothing quite says due by like a
00:16:43
folded wheelchair an upright letter box
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and half a dozen
00:16:47
cumbers that's right yeah and there's no
00:16:50
reason why I can't use a wheelchair to
00:16:51
make a flag it's very ablest of you to
00:16:53
say that I shouldn't use one um sitting
00:16:55
on there on your Mighty Red Throne with
00:16:56
no wheels you piece of [__] um
00:16:59
uh but you're a great guy you're a great
00:17:01
guy you're a wonderful man wonderful man
00:17:03
I don't know what's more disrespectful
00:17:05
what you guys did to the flag or the
00:17:06
fact that you can't say United Arab
00:17:09
Emirates I can say it now say say
00:17:12
it United Arab Emirates
00:17:16
nice thank you thank you did I notice a
00:17:20
sneaky little trick in there somewhere
00:17:22
Paul uh well there was a mixup at the
00:17:24
printing place and um yeah so basically
00:17:28
the flag pictured on Josh's card was USA
00:17:31
but the word written on his card was UAE
00:17:34
I'm getting angry and the task uh very
00:17:37
clearly did say to make the flag that
00:17:39
was written on the card oh
00:17:43
[__] the it's actually really mean it's
00:17:50
mean all look like fools the air in the
00:17:54
studio has suddenly gone quite
00:17:57
stale perhaps it's been first we rip the
00:17:59
Band-Aid off Paul and see who's next
00:18:02
these guys rarely know their Flags it's
00:18:05
Chris Paul Justine and
00:18:09
Kura
00:18:11
Brazil
00:18:13
Mexico
00:18:15
uru I got Jamaica Jamaica been crazy you
00:18:18
know what I mean
00:18:20
Co I don't understand okay honestly we
00:18:23
have locked out I don't know why I went
00:18:26
in there it's really nothing in me
00:18:29
okay I'm going to go in there again just
00:18:31
see if there's anything else I want it
00:18:34
to be massive Let's Do Brazil proud and
00:18:37
I just don't know if this is going to be
00:18:38
very big that's the only thing have you
00:18:40
ever been to Uruguay no never I I'm not
00:18:44
even sure where it is it's right next to
00:18:46
Argentina oh yeah I thought so cuz I was
00:18:48
going to say this is quite a similar
00:18:50
flag to Argentina
00:18:57
[Music]
00:19:02
oh Christ I hope I'm making them proud
00:19:05
at least do you have a favorite flag do
00:19:07
you want a guess it's got many colors
00:19:11
pride flag no South Africa why would you
00:19:15
think Pride cuz it's got many colors
00:19:17
Australia oh cuz I'm gay no you jerk I
00:19:21
think that's a good Jamaican flag yeah I
00:19:24
think it would be recognizable to anyone
00:19:27
who knew their Flags
00:19:31
you see the Mexican flag flying up there
00:19:34
you go W time for some
00:19:37
lasagna isn't that Italian oh it is now
00:19:41
but didn't used to be do you think the
00:19:43
people of the Uruguay will be happy with
00:19:45
this yeah ion they'll be like cheer B do
00:19:49
you think they say cherb in the Uruguay
00:19:52
uhhuh have you made many flags before
00:19:55
yep a certain rainbow flag Australia
00:19:58
yeah the P flag Paul oh there any
00:20:02
Mexican people in the surrounding area
00:20:04
they're going to get quite emotional if
00:20:06
any Jamaican people watch this what do
00:20:08
you hope they feel when they see I hope
00:20:10
they feel a surge of national pride and
00:20:14
the Beautiful flag in their wonderful
00:20:15
country 38 seconds 38 seconds okay
00:20:18
couple more bits of red last two red
00:20:20
things I've got couple of Crocs
00:20:23
done Mexican plague
00:20:30
it's meant to rain later my name's
00:20:32
Justin Smith and I've I've just made I'm
00:20:35
not drunk I've just made a flag of
00:20:36
Jamaica
00:20:38
look hi I'm C and this is my flag of
00:20:42
Uruguay you're a great
00:20:44
guy hi I'm Paul egoo and this is my flag
00:20:48
from the country of
00:20:54
Mexico sorry I tried
00:21:01
I think the coolest thing was making
00:21:03
everybody say their name with their flag
00:21:05
that was not very nice I think I
00:21:08
insisted on
00:21:09
mine I'm just ashamed I realized when I
00:21:12
got home that night after that task how
00:21:15
how did you realize well I've got a um
00:21:16
an atlas in my bathroom with all the
00:21:18
world flags i r around
00:21:23
like I just love the amount of
00:21:25
confidence that you guys were going into
00:21:27
that with that was the remarkable thing
00:21:29
you know it wasn't confidence it was
00:21:31
trust and you guys you guys just shed
00:21:35
all over that yeah I've used that
00:21:38
printing guy before and he makes a lot
00:21:40
of mistakes I don't want to score that
00:21:42
absolute Abomination but I suppose we
00:21:45
have to so in terms of flag size Josh's
00:21:48
was also the biggest wow yes his was uh
00:21:51
over 3.4 M long here we go are those
00:21:55
Josh's so this what it's meant to be on
00:21:57
the top there and that's what it is
00:21:59
underneath so Josh's is pretty much spot
00:22:02
on mine's so close though hey mine's
00:22:05
pretty close mine just got one the sick
00:22:07
thing uh mine's really wrong
00:22:10
yes there's no excuses for mine I really
00:22:14
[__] it up Chris made the Solomon
00:22:16
Islands flag Justine made the Tanzanian
00:22:19
flag uh Kura Argentina and Paul of
00:22:22
course Italy God I bad we knew it was
00:22:26
Italy I actually made a joke about
00:22:28
lasagna while I was doing
00:22:31
it I think at the end Josh if we score
00:22:34
it he's got to get five points right
00:22:36
that's only
00:22:37
fear roll on mate ordinarily I would say
00:22:41
that everybody else gets zero because
00:22:43
you didn't achieve the complete the task
00:22:45
properly however there's some quite
00:22:47
impressive craft that's gone onto this
00:22:49
yes and so I think everybody else should
00:22:51
get two points thank
00:22:54
you thank
00:22:56
you where does that lead the standings
00:22:59
for this episode Paul currently out in
00:23:01
first place with 11 points Paul
00:23:05
ego what are we doing next Paul Williams
00:23:11
boo sorry for giving you a fright here's
00:23:13
a task to calm your
00:23:16
[Music]
00:23:24
nerves hi Paul greetings P Willie is
00:23:27
brighter it hot and I'm not just talking
00:23:30
about your lovely face just in here is
00:23:32
it yes please I'm not going to get
00:23:34
punched by anything coming out of there
00:23:35
am I no
00:23:43
okay oh my God this actually scared me
00:23:46
[Music]
00:23:52
sorry F I have never opened a mailbox
00:23:55
properly and finally it is paid off
00:24:00
get to look do something that will
00:24:02
frighten the Taskmaster best fright wins
00:24:05
you have 30 minutes your time starts now
00:24:09
Jeremy yes please 30 minutes to Fright
00:24:12
the Tas
00:24:13
Master [__] you that's just in there in
00:24:17
case the other one's not better sorry to
00:24:18
swear at
00:24:19
you I mean you probably shouldn't it
00:24:22
might ruin the Fright if you like part
00:24:23
of it how come ah you kind of know
00:24:26
what's happening me yeah oh frighten the
00:24:28
Taskmaster
00:24:30
Master ask the Taskmaster do something
00:24:33
to frighten the Taskmaster you're not
00:24:34
the Taskmaster you silly Billy I never
00:24:37
said I was oh why did I frighten you I'm
00:24:39
not sure it it gave me a real
00:24:43
fright oh no I've done it again I've
00:24:46
done it again I don't want to seem
00:24:48
overly Brave cuz I'm not a particularly
00:24:50
Brave person but judging by how you guys
00:24:52
have been going so far on this
00:24:53
particular episode I have no concern
00:24:56
here
00:24:58
at all no you could have worn your white
00:25:00
pants today you'd be fine I mean you
00:25:02
guys were freaked out by those rubber
00:25:04
snakes that were inside of the yeah but
00:25:06
one of them wasn't rubber do you
00:25:07
remember it was there was one actual
00:25:09
snake in there it was a king a fullsize
00:25:10
king snake in there King Snake yeah yeah
00:25:13
it killed three of the
00:25:14
crew did that not happen on your must
00:25:17
have hushed it
00:25:18
up we did try and get those prank snakes
00:25:21
that jump out at you we couldn't find
00:25:23
any so we were really disappointed to
00:25:24
get the plastic ones cuz we were like no
00:25:26
one will get scared by these
00:25:29
and it turns out everyone will get
00:25:31
scared by those you're just constantly
00:25:33
on edge though it's like normally a lit
00:25:35
box full of rubber snakes wouldn't worry
00:25:36
me on task master absolutely scared the
00:25:38
[__] out of me ESP with you floing
00:25:39
around like a little quiet creepy
00:25:41
ventriloquist puppet it's yeah it's
00:25:44
haunting you put us you put us all on
00:25:45
edge whose fearful torment do I have to
00:25:48
put up with first pul first up it's Josh
00:25:51
Thompson how do I frighten him I could
00:25:54
call him as the department of police or
00:25:57
whatever they're called police just
00:26:02
one pick to this in this is Jeremy will
00:26:05
sorry I can't come to the phone right
00:26:06
now but please leave name and number
00:26:08
after the beat hi Jeremy it's Brian from
00:26:11
the IID um we've just got a lot of
00:26:14
problems with your taex
00:26:25
spals oh I panicked there you doing the
00:26:28
tax thing and then you kind of went to
00:26:30
touching his bum yes double prong one
00:26:32
tax then he's like uhoh and then like in
00:26:35
the
00:26:36
air you could follow it up wouldn't be
00:26:39
expecting that please leave your name
00:26:40
and number after theat oh you're at
00:26:43
Wonder now looking on you know I'm in
00:26:44
the bush I'm walking around God sniff
00:26:46
sniff sniff I'm Coming For You D I'm
00:26:49
Coming For You D I'm Coming For You D
00:26:51
and I'm come
00:26:55
real nice in the dark
00:26:59
okay but he wouldn't be expecting a
00:27:01
third yeah good mate we've just gone
00:27:04
over your contract and we're thinking
00:27:05
about terminating it so you won't be
00:27:07
able to have a job anymore this will
00:27:08
affect you financially for a
00:27:10
while yeah mate well uh me the guys at
00:27:13
the ACC have been talking we just don't
00:27:15
think your your contributions are not
00:27:17
really very good so any self-confidence
00:27:20
you might have should be less H I should
00:27:24
have just run them over or something hi
00:27:26
Jeremy it's
00:27:29
he probably will get a fright when he
00:27:30
sees he's missed lots of calls that's
00:27:32
right the same number oh then you'll
00:27:34
know they're the same person people
00:27:36
share phones though so you're saying the
00:27:38
ird guy Jeremy's boss one of his Cricket
00:27:42
commentary colleagues some guy in a bush
00:27:46
they're all sharing a
00:27:48
phone
00:27:49
[Applause]
00:27:52
yeah so I need to read this cuz I need
00:27:55
to get the quote exactly right I'm
00:27:57
coming for your daddy I'm coming for you
00:28:00
Daddy and I'm going to come real
00:28:04
nice in the
00:28:08
dark feels nice
00:28:12
e see my mind has got a lot of different
00:28:15
sort of joshes just sort of running
00:28:17
around I can see that try trying to
00:28:19
figure out what to do I C again I'm
00:28:22
coming for you Daddy I'm coming for you
00:28:24
Daddy and I'm going to come real nice in
00:28:27
the dark I mean it could mean a a number
00:28:30
of things and if you're listening to it
00:28:31
now and you're disturbed then it's
00:28:33
having the correct effect so you're
00:28:35
welcome well the wound of fear is
00:28:37
already open who's sliding a blade into
00:28:39
a next pool our next contestant's hair
00:28:42
is red one of the scariest colors and
00:28:45
her eyes are black just the middle bit
00:28:48
which is quite common but still it's the
00:28:51
very scary Justine Smith Paul I'm going
00:28:54
to have to ask you to leave you want me
00:28:56
to leave well I suppose so what's the
00:28:58
issue if you see me setting stuff up
00:29:00
then it's just going to be stupid me
00:29:04
yeah okay I think I'm going to go and
00:29:07
look in the shed should I come uh yeah
00:29:10
you can come
00:29:14
okay it's lovely out here isn't it yeah
00:29:17
like a nice place you know if you were
00:29:18
going to pick somewhere to die be quite
00:29:21
nice out here you going to kill me in
00:29:23
this
00:29:25
Forest Justine come on Paul
00:29:29
around you got 20 minutes and 14 seconds
00:29:33
let have
00:29:34
you I wax my eyebrows so if you'd like
00:29:37
to turn around and walk up the hill
00:29:39
please well I'm going to stop you now
00:29:42
okay and take off your
00:29:44
blindfold
00:29:48
[Music]
00:29:52
okay you
00:29:54
frightened yeah okay thank you I'm going
00:29:58
to have a cup of tea Paul do you think
00:30:00
anyone's going to beat that
00:30:05
no you've seen what's happened there
00:30:07
haven't you yeah I have totally seen
00:30:09
what's happened there Jeremy it's just
00:30:12
that I didn't think you deserve to be
00:30:13
frightened and I thought that I just use
00:30:16
you know your side I can't [__] that up
00:30:18
so
00:30:19
badly I frightened Paul I was incredibly
00:30:22
freden and on multiple levels cuz I was
00:30:24
scared of obviously dying but also she
00:30:27
taped up my eyebrows I was scared of
00:30:29
losing those there's no doubt that what
00:30:30
Justine did to you was absolutely
00:30:32
terrifying it's just the wrong person
00:30:34
correct I feel sorry for myself in a lot
00:30:36
of ways because I am the Taskmaster and
00:30:38
I feel sorry for the show I I really
00:30:39
feel for the tvnz marketing department
00:30:42
who have spent tens of thousands of
00:30:44
dollars promoting the show to the
00:30:46
outside world that I am the Taskmaster
00:30:48
and this is the Taskmaster and that you
00:30:50
haven't understood that as a contestant
00:30:52
on the
00:30:54
show I've got to be honest you have
00:30:57
scared me
00:30:58
okay oh that's good be good okay but not
00:31:00
on purpose but you have scared me
00:31:04
okay Paul refresh us on where we are our
00:31:08
contestants are attempting to give you
00:31:10
the biggest fright Josh left you some
00:31:13
voice messages and Justine tried to kill
00:31:15
me with a Medieval
00:31:17
sword who's next Paul I actually have a
00:31:20
question if it was night time and you
00:31:22
were alone could a forest uh make you
00:31:27
feel quite scared
00:31:37
I'm
00:31:52
crazy he
00:31:54
scary Okay cool so who's up next
00:31:58
a are you you freaked it was quite scary
00:32:02
yes there was a baraca in the mouth
00:32:04
wasn't it yeah it was really that's why
00:32:05
I was hard to speak I don't know if
00:32:07
you've ever just chucked a baraca in but
00:32:10
boy it's hard to talk with especially
00:32:12
when there's a strobe and you got two
00:32:14
eyes do you not usually have two
00:32:16
[Laughter]
00:32:21
eyes who's up next it's Chris Parker do
00:32:25
we tell him I've died like do we get
00:32:27
someone from C to call him and say Chris
00:32:29
has had an accident um we need someone
00:32:31
to call Jeremy and say Chris has fallen
00:32:34
from the roof doing a task doing a task
00:32:37
what was the task it was um get the
00:32:40
closest to the Sun you've got 20 minutes
00:32:42
your time starts now and Chris got on
00:32:44
the roof of the Taskmaster house and he
00:32:47
fell off he's in hospital we had to get
00:32:50
him chopp it out of here is he going to
00:32:51
be okay see this is working yeah it's
00:32:54
not looking good he's got two
00:32:56
impalements he's concussed he broke his
00:33:00
ankle he's got like a weird STI but I
00:33:03
don't think that was from the FL he just
00:33:05
had that they just came up in the
00:33:07
doctor's report and then maybe you could
00:33:10
get on the phone and be like bro this is
00:33:13
crazy I saw it happen and did you hear
00:33:16
it's also got crabs this sound to say it
00:33:18
was from the accident but I don't I
00:33:20
don't believe them what do you think it
00:33:22
sounds pretty scary I think I've pushed
00:33:24
it a little bit into a comedy Tory um
00:33:27
what the hell is that noise there's
00:33:29
someone coming in should we stop is this
00:33:31
the owner of the house I don't
00:33:34
know who what is us stop stop please oh
00:33:39
my God what
00:33:43
the oh my God what the is going on what
00:33:46
the what the oh my God oh my God oh my
00:33:49
God
00:33:50
Paul Paul
00:33:58
[Applause]
00:34:06
I don't yeah now he's
00:34:09
gone yeah someone just took him no it's
00:34:12
not part of it stop
00:34:15
filming stop filming
00:34:20
please those guys seriously [__] me up
00:34:23
so you were abducted yeah and I assumed
00:34:26
TV and Zid paid the rents they did yeah
00:34:29
20
00:34:31
bucks I think most people would be like
00:34:34
oh man that scary like could happen to
00:34:40
anyone right well we've got one more
00:34:42
scar manger amongst us haven't we Paul
00:34:45
yes it's New Zealand's tallest man Paul
00:34:51
ego hi I'm Mikey Havoc of Mikey Havoc f
00:34:57
now I'm here to talk to the task
00:35:01
master we used to work together doing
00:35:05
havoc and news
00:35:07
boy those were good days sexy days often
00:35:12
I would
00:35:14
undress in front of him and sit
00:35:18
provocatively on a chair like this this
00:35:22
one that's a lot wider than I thought I
00:35:25
would remove my cloes
00:35:28
and he would say no Mr Havoc I cannot
00:35:32
fight your sexiness and I said I am the
00:35:36
Taskmaster today you do what I
00:35:41
say happy
00:35:43
birthday to
00:35:46
you happy birthday to
00:35:50
you happy birthday task
00:35:55
master happy birthday
00:36:01
[Music]
00:36:04
and just cut it the
00:36:09
problem how did you know Mikey did that
00:36:11
to me I just had a sense you know and I
00:36:15
didn't feel comfortable replaying it but
00:36:17
I knew that it would bring back even
00:36:19
harder memories for you the past for
00:36:21
many of us is a dark dark place and for
00:36:22
me there is no exception
00:36:24
there horrific
00:36:27
I really regret doing that and um what
00:36:31
about when you taped two bottles of
00:36:32
sauce to your tis I know that was a hoot
00:36:36
compared to that [Laughter]
00:36:39
one right now I need to decide who
00:36:42
frightened me the most Paul I'm going to
00:36:44
give you five points here that brought
00:36:46
back something from my past which is
00:36:48
quite scary Justine I'll give you four
00:36:51
points because you scared me not knowing
00:36:54
what was going on there yeah could a
00:36:58
great use of a baraca three points for
00:37:00
you thank you two points for you
00:37:04
Chris and one point for Josh cuz I'm
00:37:07
never going to pick up those messages
00:37:09
just just just close your eyes Just
00:37:10
Close Your Eyes I'm coming you
00:37:13
daddy I'm going to come real good in the
00:37:19
night do you need to borrow Paul's
00:37:24
iPad let slide up into the mechanical
00:37:27
gears of this Wonka Factory and retrieve
00:37:29
the scores please Paul with a whopping
00:37:32
16 points the leader is Paul
00:37:36
eager right we're heading for a grand
00:37:38
stand finish let's head up to the stairs
00:37:40
for the final live
00:37:42
[Applause]
00:37:45
task jeez you look good standing behind
00:37:48
that array of things what's happening
00:37:50
now we're about to do a live task Chris
00:37:52
could you please do the
00:37:55
honors choose your your item we're going
00:37:58
to start with CA and move along one at a
00:38:01
time to
00:38:02
Paul I would like this handbag please
00:38:05
lady like or Chris
00:38:11
Parker I'd like this pumpkin
00:38:16
please Josh Thompson should I do the
00:38:19
walk you're doing backstage Chris
00:38:30
sh Justine
00:38:35
Smith
00:38:40
frisbee I'm going to light a
00:38:43
fire oh
00:38:46
no sweep your item towards the drop you
00:38:50
have one sweep if your item drops you
00:38:52
will be eliminated the item swept
00:38:55
closest to the edge without dropping W
00:38:58
yeah no this is all right we're going to
00:39:01
sweep from behind the red line cross the
00:39:04
line as you
00:39:05
[Laughter]
00:39:10
no you know that's that's [__] we're
00:39:13
going to go one at a time I'll do it
00:39:15
with this one and we're going to start
00:39:16
with Paul ego go Paul go
00:39:20
[Applause]
00:39:21
Paul Justine going
00:39:27
son of a b Lu each sorry mate you can do
00:39:30
it
00:39:31
Mateos
00:39:33
who a good sound it's incredibly close
00:39:36
between those two really this isn't the
00:39:38
first time I've done
00:39:40
this swe that
00:39:45
pump
00:39:49
Goku some points guys well that was
00:39:52
absolutely Sensational come on down
00:39:56
[Music]
00:39:57
welcome
00:40:00
back well Paul who spped the field away
00:40:03
and won that one so could have finished
00:40:05
third with 138.236.128.7
00:40:16
[Applause]
00:40:27
Paul Williams tonight's winner is who a
00:40:32
dominant performance with 21 points Paul
00:40:38
Eagle Paul there you go it brings me
00:40:41
great shame in saying this but get up
00:40:43
there and get stuck into your own
00:40:48
mother oh my God I told her to watch
00:40:50
this episode up you go but I totally
00:40:53
willo
00:40:58
oh it's been a good night we've been
00:41:00
reminded that there was a time when
00:41:01
rotary Clos lines reigned Supreme and
00:41:04
we've seen that there's nothing more
00:41:05
terrifying than a woman trying to kill
00:41:08
someone when she doesn't know who that
00:41:10
someone
00:41:11
is most importantly we've seen that the
00:41:14
winner of this third episode of
00:41:15
Taskmaster is Paul
00:41:18
ego we'll see you next week P Maria
00:41:22
[Applause]
00:41:24
[Music]
00:41:30
[Applause]
00:41:31
[Music]
00:41:33
[Applause]
00:41:37
for more Taskmaster subscribe now
00:41:46
[Music]
