A pregnant woman says 'all the joy went out' of her husband's body when she confessed to him she no longer likes their chosen baby name for their son - despite an agreement which goes back years
Choosing a name for your child is one of of the most important, yet hardest decisions new parents make.
Some parents spend years going back and forth on what to name their child, others are so certain on a name but change their mind when they find out they are pregnant or when the baby arrives. Names go in and out of popularity and there are several influences which affect which names you will hear in the playground. Often TV shows, films, video games, names of celebrities or names from the Royal Family can have impact on popularity of children's names.
But one woman, who wishes to remain unnamed, has confessed "all the joy went out" of her husband's body when she told him she no longer likes their chosen name for their third child. "This has taken all of his excitement about the baby away," she shared on Reddit recently.
The married couple have two daughters - age eight and four - and are now expecting a little boy. Over the years the 38-year-old husband has often expressed that if he and his wife had another baby, he would want him to have his name.
The 37-year-old pregnant woman explained: "My husband is a 'third' - as in, John Smith III. Before we got married and were having discussions about kids, he did make it very clear that passing down his name was very important to him if we had a son.
"At the time I thought it was really cute and adorable how much pride he took in it since most guys don't really care about that sort of sentimental stuff. But as the years have gone by I've definitely cooled on the idea quite a bit and I don't think I want to have our son be named after my husband that way."
The woman added that because of their agreement that the husband was able to pass down his name to his son, she was able to take lead on their daughter's names. But when the couple went for a scan recently, she told him she no longer wanted his name for their son.
She added: "So, when we found out we were having a boy, my husband was very excited. On the car ride home after the ultrasound it was all he could talk about. He was giddy like a teenager talking about how proud he would be of sharing his name with his son.
"I told him how I know we had talked about this many times before with our other kids and that I technically agreed to it years ago, but I don't think I want to name our son the same. I don't think I've ever seen anyone's mood change so quickly and visibly as my husband's did in that moment."
The mum explained that she now thinks her son being called a 'fourth' is "tacky" and "has weird aristocratic vibes that just don't seem right to me". She commented: "I told him that I am not totally against the idea, but I don't want to just agree to it right now because I want time to think about other names too."
But the annoyed husband said his wife had gone back on their years-long agreement. "When I try to talk to him about it, he tells me he has nothing to say because he's been very clear about where he stands on this and he feels betrayed by my change of heart," she added. "I know I technically agreed to this years ago, but it just doesn't feel right to me anymore."
The woman's dilemma has divided opinion on Reddit. While a number of people agree that she shouldn't have to use the name, others pointed out the wife did not consider her partner's feelings after the ultrasound. Agreeing with the mum, one wrote: "I actually personally really dislike people naming their children after themselves, I think it's just stupid and has some narcissistic undertones." "I think it's kind of weird to name your kid after yourself," said another.
But a number of others called the woman out. One said: "She's sucked all the excitement her husband had about the new baby out of the situation, so even if she apologises she has soured the experience for her husband. If she agrees to the 'fourth' name, he will know she's just agreeing with it to placate him, and not because she likes it."
One other added: "Her husband feels betrayed because she betrayed him. The time when it would have been acceptable to change her mind is long past. It's going to take a lot for her to make amends, and she doesn't even think she did anything wrong."
Another wrote: "If I were the husband I'd be so upset and an apology wouldn't really help as I'd feel it wasn’t sincere. He trusted her to keep her word and she showed she's not trustworthy. What else can’t she be trusted with?"
"If she had spoken up eight years ago (or at least four years) even in passing, I could have given her a pass but to wait until she was pregnant with a boy, yeah that's what pushed it." One individual commented: "What was your plan here? You knew that he wanted to pass down his name to his son, but instead of talking to him when you realised your opinion had changed you waited and sprung it on him. Of course he’s going to be disappointed."
Do you agree? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
